David Coon quietly detained for being too competent

David Coon quietly detained for being too competent

Fredericton — Green Party Leader and Fredericton MLA David Coon has been detained “for the time being” in a holding cell within the Fredericton police station, according to sources.

Coon was arrested Friday morning in the downtown area where he was seen listening to some university students air their concerns about their education.

“We saw him making valuable connections and encouraging youth to pay attention to the way politics can affect the province. We couldn’t just stand by and watch that,” said Fredericton Chief of Police Leanne Fitch. “The guy’s too active in the community — he’s doing our job for us. And in these tough times, the police really need a win.”

“He’s been making the rest of us politicians look bad for a while now,” said Premier Brian Gallant. “He’s always out showboating his green initiatives and trying to pass socially responsible bills. Meanwhile, I’m left playing bad cop. And what’s with his actually talking to real New Brunswickers and even discussing policies with the media? Showoff.”

Coon was not told how long he’ll be imprisoned; his family, friends and all of Fredericton hope the police come to their senses.

“David just had a big win yesterday, which I assume is what stirred up police interest,” said one Fredericton Green Party supporter. “He posted on Facebook about his new Green Jobs bill and about wanting to incorporate First Nations history and culture into the New Brunswick educational curriculum. Is that a reason to lock a guy up? I don’t think so… but then again, I’m no political scientist. They must have a good reason for this, right?”

“Look, we don’t want to make a big deal out of this; we simply want him off the streets long enough for people to forget about how competent he is and the fact that his ideas make a lot of sense,” Fitch said. “We don’t want any trouble.”

Coon’s bail is posted at $500,000.

  1. Artsnb and all professional artists of NB sure could use your creative reporting right now!

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  2. Armstrong Charlene April 8, 2016, 10:28 pm

    Fitch seems to be the one taking things to far. He has the freedom of speech. I hope the Green Party start a collection to pay David’s bail. He does not belong in there. God what is this world coming to. This chief has been in the news lately. Is she trying to make a name for herself???? Is she competing with the male officers??? Do the right thing and let David Coon out, you have humilated him enough.

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