NB Green Party gives tips on playing ‘hard to get’

NB Green Party gives tips on playing ‘hard to get’

Fredericton — David Coon and his new team of two MLAs are giving out tips on how to seem interested in getting together…but not too interested, if you know what he means.

Today in Fredericton, the granola-eating tree-hugging yoga-loving party said that the key to playing political “hard to get” is really as simple as getting inside Liberal or Tory heads, without coming off as too available or needy.

“You want to increase demand for yourself and make someone want you even more — if that’s even possible at this point!” beamed David Coon, standing with his two Greenies. “But really, the number one rule is absolutely make them wait for a merger into a coalition.

“If you go jumping into bed in a coalition on the first negotiation, they aren’t going to respect you.”

Last week, Coon pledged not to hook up formally with either the Liberals or Conservatives, but rather to see each other based on their “Declaration of Intent.” And to add to the mind games, Coon said each member of the Green caucus will vote their own way on the upcoming throne speech.

Whatever they are doing seems to be working according to Blaine Higgs, leader of the Progressive Conservatives.

“I keep texting and calling David but I can never get a hold of him,” complained Higgs. “And when we do speak and I ask him to go out on a negotiation date, he always says he’s ‘busy.’ And I’m like, ‘Is he busy meeting with Brian?’

“It’s driving me nuts, I can’t stop thinking about him!”

“We aren’t trying to be coy,” Coon said. “We just want to see if they want a long-term commitment to the Green way. Or, at least as long as this dysfunctional shitstorm of a Legislature lasts anyways.”

  1. I love what you do .. and I love that you do for us … thank you .. always gonna love you .. never gonna break up with you .. ever .. xoxo


Share your thoughts. We reserve the right to remove comments.