New Brunswick hunters reject ray-guns, refuse to shoot digitally

New Brunswick hunters reject ray-guns, refuse to shoot digitally

Oromocto — A functioning prototype of an electrolaser ray-gun failed to shock the audience at the biannual gun fair in Oromocto this morning, with many hunters and gun-collectors saying that they refuse to shoot digitally.

Philip Jones, the head designer of the gun, said that he was “very disappointed” with the crowd’s reaction to the revolutionary firearm, as the presentation was intended to attract Canadian investors.

“I think it’s fair to say that we were a little surprised,” said Jones. “We were hoping that hunters and hobbyists, of all people, would see the benefits of this technology.”

During the presentation, Jones and his team were booed off stage before they were able to demonstrate how the technology worked. Frequent hunter Robert Gambon explained that “real hunters” don’t feel the need to rely on “crutches,” such as the stimulated emission of electromagnetic radiation.

“I think it’s a total disgrace to honest hunting,” said Gambon, scoffing. “Maybe it’s okay for the casual hunter, but for those of us who take it seriously, it’s a joke.”

Gambon’s sentiments appeared to be matched by the majority of patrons present at the gun fair, not one of which expressed any interest in pre-ordering the raygun. “There’s something about good old bullets and gunpowder,” he said. “It’s a certain warmth that you just can’t get with digital weaponry.”

Despite their failure to garner the interest of collectors and hunting professionals, Jones said that he hopes he and his team will have more success marketing the gun to a more “mainstream” audience.

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