Fredericton — In an embarrassing revelation, the Liberal government announced yesterday that it forgot to pass the MLA pay freeze that it that vowed to implement in 2016. As a result, MLAs were entitled to a pay hike as of last October and they will be eligible for another in close to 60 days.
At the same time, local doctors revealed that they believe that these memory blackouts have been induced by blunt force trauma. In a startling diagnosis, medical experts are now saying they believe that members of the Legislature have a severe form of retrograde amnesia resulting from an unlikely source — Bill Fraser’s devastating head-butts.
“It’s something that he likes to do for a laugh,” confided cabinet minister Donald Arseneault, leaving the washroom after forgetting to flush and wash his hands. “Bill will hide around a corner in the Centennial Building and when you least expect it —boom! — head-butt! And then, he bellows ‘BAM! That’s how we do it in the ‘Chi, BABY!’ and he giggles like a schoolgirl. It’s a riot! But, no one saw this coming.”
As Arseneault was finishing his comments, Cathy Rogers wandered into the scrum, paused and said, “Why did I come out here again?” before slowly turning around and meandering back down the hallway. From behind, the store price tags still attached to her clothing were clearly visible.
When Arseneault was asked how the premier could let this happen, the minister was concise in his reply. “That’s a question that you’ll have to ask Premier…whas-his-name…yourself. Wait…did I feed the dog this morning? Do I have a dog?”
Premier Brian Gallant was unavailable for comment as he was outside trying to remember where he parked his car.