New Brunswick — Canada’s only officially bilingual province is taking its bilingualism to the next level by ensuring that when the next provincial election comes around in 2018, francophone and anglophones voters will receive their own separate representation.
Chief Electoral Officer for New Brunswick Michael P. Quinn explained. “History shows that whenever a francophone politician gets elected and represents the province, there’s a lot of negative energy given off by anglophone voters, and vice-versa; New Brunswick is officially a bilingual province, and it’s time to increase our bilingual footprint by electing not one, but two premiers for the province — one elected by French New Brunswickers and the other elected by English New Brunswickers.”
It all makes perfect sense, as far as Quinn is concerned.
“What will happen,” he went on, “is we will essentially be giving New Brunswickers twice the representation on the provincial level. There will need to be at least one English and one French member from each running party in each electoral district, then we will canvass each registered voter in the province to determine whether they want to vote as an anglophone or a francophone — there will be a distinguishable voter ballot for French and one for English, along with appropriately distinguishable ballot receptacles.”
Once the vote is closed, both the French and English ballots will be counted, and residents will be left with two elected officials per district.
When asked how things would work if different parties were elected by the two groups, Quinn’s response was vague. “We need to ensure fair representation for the New Brunswick people, and this is the best option. There is no need for anybody to worry about the who-what-when-where-why and how, as we’re committed to spending money to work all those details out.”
Our reporter asked whether taxpayers would be on the hook for paying double salaries for the additional running members. “Look at it this way,” Quinn said. “Now the taxpayers will be getting double the results — they can come to expect twice the output from their elected officials. And let’s not forget that it’s all in an effort to ensure that New Brunswick remains on top of the bilingual bubble.”