New Brunswick woman finally shares thoughts on U.S. election

New Brunswick woman finally shares thoughts on U.S. election

Fredericton — Breaking her long stint of silence on the matter, 21-year-old Laura McIntyre, a political science student at St. Thomas University, finally shared her thoughts and observations on the presidential election happening in the United States.

McIntyre, seemingly under the impression that she is able to vote in said election, opened Facebook this morning and began her oeuvre in a pristine status-update field.

“I don’t normally write these posts,” typed the woman who regularly writes these types of posts, “but I thought it was finally time to let you guys know my take on Trump and Clinton. OK, so, here it goes,” she clacked away, before taking a break to go grab a muffin or something in George Martin Hall. When she returned with a large coffee purchased with her dad’s AMEX card, she reopened the tab to resume her important effort.

“I’d have to say if you think Trump is OK, you’re totally wrong,” she wrote between sips of coffee. “First off, he has no respect for women.” McIntyre then reportedly Googled “Trump and women” to find a Huffington Post article supporting her idea, and attached the link under the half-conceived status.

“Secondly,” she continued, musing on her most salient points, “as a poli-sci student, I feel like you can’t be a good person and vote for Trump. Hillary has her faults, what with that whole email thing I heard about somewhere, but that doesn’t make it cool to vote for a white supremacist.” McIntyre then Googled “white supremacist” to make sure the definition corresponded with her idea of the term.

“Thirdly,” wrote the student who describes herself as a young Noam Chomsky, “a Tumblr post I saw about Trump implied pretty strongly that if he’s made president he will NOT make the country great again, but will make it worse. I can’t find that post right now but trust me, it was spot on.”

When McIntyre at last clicked on the “post” button, she said the gravity of her words was almost overwhelming.

“This is going to change the way New Brunswickers think about their election,” she told our reporter. “If you care about anything, you’ll vote Hillary. If you’re an idiot or apathetic, you’ll vote Trump. It’s as simple as that.”

At press time McIntyre’s status had received a “like” from her mom, a “heart” from her boyfriend and a “share” from some guy in her Introduction to Political Economy course.

Share your thoughts. We reserve the right to remove comments.