New Brunswick — In these “unprecedented times,” Maritime parents are having to make tough calls about whether to send their kids to school and risk exposure to COVID-19, or teach them at home, using the education skills picked up during the lockdown earlier this year.
Those parents who have opted to homeschool their children, thus nearly eliminating their children’s risk of contracting the virus or of developing any social skills, are being called “the new vegans” by those who send their kids to class.
“You didn’t ask, but they’ll friggin’ tell you about it,” said Maria Dowe, who does not have the financial luxury of teaching her two children from the family room. “You say nothing, and they post pics of their cute little ‘classroom,’ which is just the kitchen table with some art supplies on it, and their kids sitting there in their pajamas, colouring and looking bored.
“It’s worse than my vegan sister who never shuts up about her diet.”
With the adult literacy rate in New Brunswick being so abysmal, many question how so many parents could possibly be equipped to take on the job that only teachers, with their tailored degrees and experience, are qualified to do.
“Pretty sure they’re just learning how to bake bread from a sourdough starter…or maybe how to scrub a toilet?” said Reese Olsen, whose best friend is now homeschooling her children. “Don’t get me wrong — these are great skills to have — but her kids can’t read. I’m not even confident she can read. Shouldn’t that be a priority?
“I arranged to drive my kids to and from school instead of sending them on the disease-ridden bus. That’s like being vegetarian — you know, pretty good but not good enough. But homeschool parents are like vegans who want you to know that it’s just not okay to only be vegetarian. You’re vegan or the devil.”
“They’re just like vegans who have no more nutrition or health information than anyone else…less, even…but that doesn’t stop them from telling you in detail all about what they don’t eat,” said Ryan DeLong, father of three kids who are going to a real school. “Since when is it cool to brag about what you’re not doing? Vegans brag about what they don’t consume, and homeschool parents brag about where their kids aren’t going. No one cares!
“If you’re not sure who’s homeschooling their kids, just wait and say nothing: they’ll make sure you know!”