Saint John — The Port City’s councillors have been swamped with negative feedback over the mayor’s new winter management plan and Coun. Gerry Lowe is proposing his own plan: plowing the streets based on lottery.
Street names will be thrown into a “digital hat” and picked randomly. If the name is picked, the street will be plowed; if not, residents will be held responsible for shovelling it themselves. “We just don’t have the resources to deal with all of this snow,” Coun. Lowe told The Manatee. “We can no longer plow every street. It’s either snow or potholes.”
Saint John has experienced record snowfalls this winter, which many across the northeast are calling “Snowmageddon 2015.” The councillor said all residents in his ward were angry with the mayor’s proposal. “They want at least a chance to get plowed out. They need to get groceries and beer. Some of them go to Sea Dog games, you know.”
City Manager Pat Woods said a new computer program will need to be written to conduct these lotteries. “Every car registered to a street counts as a vote. If your street has 300 cars, you get 300 chances to have your street plowed. If your street has only one car registered to it, then your chances of being plowed out will be slim.”
Amy-Sue Sinclair of Peters Street was visibly upset when we asked citizens their opinions and concerns. “Every car on Peters Street is stolen and belongs to some other street,” she cried. “We’ll never get plowed!” King Street bookstore owner Ezekiel Peabody expressed a similar concern. “Nobody lives on King or Union streets. Who is going to shovel them?”
Coun. Lowe said a scheme to make shovellers responsible has not yet been worked out, but he hinted at “new property and rental taxes for all the slackers.” It’s a better plan than Councillor McAlary’s. She wants to install plows on all taxis, the crazy old bat.”