Report: Higgs still hasn’t fixed province

Report: Higgs still hasn’t fixed province

New Brunswick — It’s been two and a half days since Brian Gallant’s Liberal government failed to win the confidence of the legislature and new Premier Blaine Higgs still hasn’t fixed all, or any of New Brunswick’s problems.

“Same old song and dance,” cried Green party Leader David Coon. “He’s just full of empty promises, I guess. Said he’d do all these amazing things to help the people of New Brunswick. But here we are, still in the exact same spot we were under the last government. Still crippled by debt, still no solution to the ambulance crisis in the province, no fix to the education problem — and we’ve still got Saint John.”

Coon wasn’t the only leader dismayed about the lack of progress after Friday’s results; the former premier also voiced his displeasure.

“Should’ve just stayed with me,” said a dejected Gallant. “I woulda had this all figured out by now. We’d have the ambulances fixed, everyone would know both languages perfectly, we’d be enjoying a huge surplus right now and my mom would probably still love me.”

Higgs gave our reporter a few lame excuses like “I’m not even officially in power yet” and “it’s not even been a business day,” then went on to say that he has already tried to reduce debt by turning the power off for much of the province during the weekend.

“You kids nowadays use way too much electricity. With your Nintendos and pinball machines and personal computers and whatnot. Do you think money grows on trees or what?”

New Brunswickers were gathered outside of the legislature this morning, protesting Higgs and his government.

“You’ve opened our eyes, you’re so full of lies!” chanted Theresa Grossman, holding a sign that said nothing more than “Higgs Sucks.” “This guy is the biggest joke in the world. He convinced us that he would be different. He said things would change. But nothing is different and nothing has changed at all. He’s just a liar and manipulator and I hate him so much!”

Our reporter tried to get an opinion from PANB Leader Kris Austin, but he just kept telling us to be the change, over and over again.

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