Residents suggest ‘no naked creeps’ signs for new Fredericton parks

Residents suggest ‘no naked creeps’ signs for new Fredericton parks

Fredericton — New Brunswick’s capital city has been asking for public opinion in the development of a few new community parks in the city. But rather than open spaces, fire pits, rain shelters or water fountains, the number one thing the public has been asking for is to have “no naked creeps” signs placed throughout the parks.

According to local park-goer Kim Gilmore, the concern stems from the high number of flashers and creeps who seem to lurk around the city’s large Odell Park (sometimes referred to as “Pickle Park” for the previously mentioned reasons).

“I don’t care about whether or not there’s a duck pond; I really just want to make sure there isn’t some weird naked guy watching me from the bushes while I read,” said Gilmore.

“Even the Ultimate Frisbee fanatics are too sketched out to play their games in the park. And that’s saying something. If the city is building new parks, they need to promise the residents that no sweaty naked people who breathe too heavily will be allowed in. Is that too much to ask?”

City Councillor Henri Mallet has been pushing for more green spaces in the city, but thinks the “no naked creeps” signs might deter regular park-goers in addition to the sketch-bags the signs are meant to deter.

“Look, if I’m going to a park and the first thing I see is a big sign that says ‘no naked creeps,’ I’m going to start thinking about naked creeps and assume there are lots nearby,” explained Mallet.

“We don’t want those creeps in or near our parks, but we also don’t want to make going to the park a scary experience. Does anyone in the public have any other ideas on how to deter those lurkers?”

Tim Corbett, a self-described involved citizen, suggests that naked creeps aren’t as big a deal as they are being made out to be.

“Maybe they’re only creepy because we vilify them so much,” said Corbett.

“I’d like to welcome one of those so-called ‘naked creeps’ into my home for a nice meal and see what we have in common. Maybe by reaching out to these creeps directly we can reach a common ground, such as letting them lurk the parks on Monday mornings when there aren’t many people there. If we work together, everyone’s a winner.”

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