Fredericton — Apparently two wrongs sometimes do make a right, at least in the eyes of David McTimoney, superintendent of the Anglophone West School District.
With slippery roads and dangerous driving conditions in much of New Brunswick this morning, the decision was made to not close down schools in an effort to make up for a day last week when schools were closed due to impending inclement weather — which never actually came.
“We’re just trying to even things out appropriately,” explained the superintendent. “There was a lot of chatter on Facebook and Twitter last week when we closed down and it didn’t snow or anything, so we feel like the kids and teachers got a freebie then. This was a perfect opportunity for us to kind of make things right.”
McTimoney admitted that he may have pulled the trigger too quickly when calling for a district-wide cancellation last Wednesday, and said he was left embarrassed when it turned out to be one of the nicest days New Brunswick had seen in weeks.
“I mean, don’t get me wrong,” he continued. “I sure loved having the day off and felt that we needed the break after coming back from our Christmas, but still — I didn’t like it when people were mad at me. And so, as an act of good faith, I figured I could win back the favour of New Brunswickers by keeping school open today when it really shouldn’t be.”
Darla Hummingbird, a usually angry mother of two, was surprisingly supportive of McTimoney’s plan to even things up. “This is totally the right thing to do,” she agreed. “He messed up last week and the only way to make that right is to make the wrong decision again, which makes it the right decision overall. Besides, I did not want to have those kids home screaming for more Paw Patrol and lunch.”
Hummingbird said this is exactly how she makes amends in her own life. “It’s a basic law of physics,” she wrongfully explained. “Take last year for example: I’ve got this friend Linda, right? Well she was having an affair and I accidentally told her husband about it. So Linda was all mad at me; I knew I had to make it right with her. So, we’ve got this other friend Sheila, and I told Sheila’s man that she was having an affair too, even though she wasn’t. Then Linda wouldn’t be so mad at me because she’s not the only one I messed up with, you see?”
Our reporter quickly ended the interview and spoke with another Frederictonian who held the opposite stance.
“This is irresponsible decision-making,” expressed Kyle Sackerton. “I don’t have kids but I think this is dangerous, selfish, petty and I do not support this so-called ‘make it right’ policy — it only works in sports with referees. I’m very disappointed with Mr. McTimoney, and I swear that it has very little to do with the fact that I’m a teacher and would’ve liked the day off again.”
McTimoney told our reporter that New Brunswickers need not worry now that the slate is clean. “Next time there’s bad weather, we’ll be able to close again because I evened it all out now.”