Superstitious student drops class, administration proposes change

Fredericton — Tristian Verge, a criminology student at St. Thomas University, recently dropped a class due to a superstition. “I was looking through the course syllabus, and I saw that a lot of assignments were due on the 13th day of each month,” he said. “At first I thought it would be okay, that it’s just a silly superstition and that I would do fine in the class.”
After Verge received his first failing grade on an assignment passed in on Friday, Feb. 13, he began to think that maybe there was something to the old superstition. “I looked at my mark, and I was flabbergasted. In high school, I got nothing but A’s, and now I’ve got my first F. It was like the fates were telling me to escape this class — it has to have been the date,” Verge cried as he chomped his fingernails.

superstitionApparently Verge wasn’t the only student to experience this unlucky turn of fortune. Sabrina Faquet, a sociology major, claims she also failed a class due to unlucky days. “Because I’m such a strong believer in the 13th day of each month being unlucky, as well as stepping on cracks and breaking mirrors, I failed 2 of my courses this semester,” explained Faquet. “I also ended up missing most of my classes because I live next to an SPCA and I kept encountering black cats.”
“I just couldn’t leave the house anymore — I’m actually surprised I could do this inter… ” she said, trailing off because she realized she’d stepped on a crack while arranging herself in her chair. Faquet has refused further comment, stating that Manatee reporters are the bringers of bad luck, and threatening a lawsuit for endangerment.
When our reporter discussed this with STU’s administration, one unnamed member exclaimed with relief: “I must have known there was something behind the dropping rate of students! It simply cannot be the professors or the classes that we offer, because they’re phenomenal!”
As a result of these bad tidings, a new regulation is being proposed that would prohibit professors from scheduling deadlines and examinations on the 13th day of any month, regardless of whether that day falls on a Friday, just to be safe. STU educators have had mixed reactions to the proposed change. Psychology professor Dr. David Everett said this will only open the gate to others imposing their quirky beliefs on the university’s policies. “What next? After this change is official, soon students won’t come to classes because of not feeling well or car accidents due to blizzard conditions. Come on — if I can get here in my studded-tire Jeep, then so can anyone else!”
English professor Jeannie Fournier believes the rule will make the overall administration more efficient. “As the university implements the change, we can then take this opportunity to re-assign deadlines on the days prior to the 13th to expedite the process,” she said.
The Board of Governors will be reviewing the proposal today, March 13.

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