New Brunswick — After several weeks of bone-chilling temperatures and punishing winter storms, New Brunswick is finally seeing some signs of spring this week.
For the first time in a while, weather forecasters are predicting daily high temperatures above freezing almost every day this week.
Yes, it’s true. Just like the sun always rises after the darkest night, there is a hint of spring in the air and not a moment too soon. Almost everyone is anxious to forget this dumpster fire of a winter and move on to something new.
Here’s The Manatee‘s top 10 signs that spring is right around the corner:
- Daylight saving time starts this weekend, so it’s time to figure out how to set the clock in your car again.
- Spring cleaning is in full swing! Bags of garbage are set out at the curb, then the wind blows off your garbage blanket and the crows pick apart your garbage bags to reveal your treasures to the drive-by pickers.
- Fringe weirdos switch their black “F*CK TRUDEAU” flags for white ones.
- The snow finally melts, then it snows again, then it melts, then it snows again, then it melts again and you put your shovels away. Then it snows 30 cm. Then it melts.
- Fishing shacks begin to sink, but people still try to drive their trucks on the ice.
- New Brunswick basements become temporary indoor pools from localized flooding.
- Robins are spotted on the lawns, also bugs the size of robins.
- Time for your annual defensive driving re-evaluation as you rapidly dodge gigantic potholes on every single goddamn street.
- Weekly game of “Do I shovel this or just wait for it to melt?”
- It’s not quite time for “sun’s out, guns out,” but government says it’s time for “masks off, fuck off.”