SWN confident fracking won't leave bad taste in NBers' mouths

Rexton — SWN Resources Canada announced today that it is introducing flavours to chemicals used in the hydraulic fracturing process in hopes of winning support for shale gas development in New Brunswick. Today’s announcement follows on the heels of last month’s provincial election. The newly formed Liberal government led by Premier Brian Gallant promised a moratorium on any further shale gas development in the province. Unfortunately for SWN Resources Canada, that promise became a central feature of the Liberal Party’s platform when former Conservative premier David Alward positioned the election as a referendum on shale gas development. The election result left SWN scrambling to find a way to appeal to New Brunswickers’ sensibilities.

In a statement given this morning at the Rexton Community Hall, SWN Resources Canada spokesperson Robin Moore unveiled the company’s new plan for courting New Brunswickers for shale gas development. Moore explained SWN has revolutionized the hydraulic fracturing process by ostensibly eliminating the production of wastewater. Instead, the byproduct of the process will now be a flavoured wastewater, which SWN has re-branded as “tastewater.”

Next month, residents of Queens and Kent counties – where SWN will begin drilling 4 previously approved test wells in 2015 – will be asked to vote for their preferred flavour of  “tastewater” in case the test wells prove worthy of fracking. Moore said that even though the likelihood of fracking chemicals contaminating the groundwater is probably on the lower end of the spectrum, SWN nonetheless wanted to reassure residents of Queens and Kent counties that they are thinking of their long-term quality of life and not simply about profits. Currently, the company has developed grape, cherry, orange and raspberry-flavoured chemicals, and is rumoured to be developing mango and cranberry flavours in time for next month’s vote. SWN has made the full statement available on their website (swnnb.ca).

  1. I think, the thing with this is the colour – it is a tracer.

  2. You can’t be serious! Do they think that we are all stupid? The very idea of trying to sweep the fact that if the ground water does get contaminated that it will be ok because it is flavoured doesn’t make it any better. They must take us for kids looking at koolaid drink mixes as a reward for the loss of crystal clear drinking water. And just how long are these new “flavours” going to stay in the water to contaminate the source of my well water? A week, a month, a year, 100 years? Will my grandchildren’s grandchildren have no knowledge of the actual test of real, clean, flavour free, chemical free drinking water?
    Anything to make a dollar and appease the economy at the expense of the environment. Just who are we becoming in this country anyway that our richest asset is now being sold to the highest bidder?

  3. We have made it very very clear .. WE DO NOT WANT YOU HERE! Go back to Texas to add your flavours chemicals to their water. WE DO NOT WANT YOU IN CANADA!!!

  4. Oh my. I can’t believe the gullibility of people.

    Love your SATIRICAL page.


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