Fredericton — The Canadian prime minister visited Fredericton this morning to announce $11.4 million in federal funding for flood relief.
Justin Trudeau’s car, accompanied by a procession of security vehicles, attempted after the announcement to continue on to Dieppe to celebrate National Acadian Day.
One member of the motorcade — an RCMP vehicle — appeared to have been infected with bad driving and wound up in a collision on the corner of Regent and King streets.
“Wow, that was fast,” said Mayor Mike O’Brien. “Bad driving is a disease typically associated with Frederictonians. It’s kind of weird to see how quickly and completely the affliction spreads.”
The driver in question had no accidents to date on his licence, claiming “a fog of stupidity” came over him this morning.
“I’m normally a great driver — I’m known for it actually. Why do you think I was part of the motorcade?” recalled Const. Jeff Illies. “But as soon as we got to Fredericton, I kinda just forgot all the rules of the road. It felt like I’d never been behind the wheel. I got really pissed at a pedestrian and then blacked out. The next thing you know, we had a little fender-bender on our hands.”
There were no injuries reported, and the prime minister is fine.
“I didn’t harm a perfect hair on his head, thank god, but what a scare! I think I’ll have to go back to driver’s ed or something,” said a still-shaken Const. Illies.
Fredericton Police recommend that the PM and his drivers get out of the province as soon as possible to shake it off.
“Catching bad driving can happen to anyone,” said a police spokesperson. “We’re grateful he didn’t try to go through the uptown roundabout — that would have been a bloodbath.”