Saint John — Residents of the southwestern corner of the province are wondering if they will be testing the old saying “Good fences make good neighbours” next year. The leading Republican candidate for president, Donald Trump, said yesterday that there will be no wall along the Canadian border except in one particular case — New Brunswick.
“The Canadian people love me, and most of them are classy, wonderful people. Until 5 years ago, I’d never heard of a New Brunswick in Canada. I thought it was a city in Jersey,” confessed Trump to anyone who would listen. “My people told me that New Brunswick was sort of like ‘Mexico North,’ only some of them speak French instead of Español.
“After my trip there, I know it’s just a terrible, awful place and we need to protect the [United States] by any means necessary.”
The source of Trump’s dislike of New Brunswick dates back to an Oct. 6, 2011 incident during a visit to the province. Trump spoke to hundreds of empty seats and a small crowd at Saint John’s Harbour Station. Apparently during the visit, at one point he became thirsty and he availed himself of a glass of Saint John’s infamous tap water.
Trump claims the treated water was a “disaster” that literally left a permanent bad taste in mouth. “It’s like what you would imagine a glassful of mud-puddle water and batteries would taste like,” he said. Trump says that ever since that day nothing has tasted the same to him, maintaining that he can’t rid himself of the sensation.
While all experts maintain Trump’s claims are impossible and may be symptoms of mental illness, politicians have tried to mend fences with the mogul. “At the time, the mayor apologized to me saying they are working hard to make Saint John’s water great again. I said that’s an amazing slogan to put on a hat or something, but it’s really just meaningless words.”
Insiders say Trump’s allegedly diminished sense of taste and the resulting loss of his life quality colours his world view. Since the 2011 visit, it has led him to bouts of xenophobia and a rampant distrust of anything foreign.
His New Brunswick visit is also responsible for his burgeoning interest in politics. “After meeting premier Alward, Trump decided that he was fit to govern,” say unnamed sources. “He figured if that guy can be a ‘Canadian governor’ that he was more than qualified to be president.”
New Brunswick is one of 8 provinces and territories that share an 8,891 kilometre border with the United States — a total of 518 km in this province alone. The Gallant government is reportedly delighted to learn of the possibility of thousands of “wall-building” jobs. However, since Trump insists that New Brunswick pay for the wall, it’s more than likely it will be constructed of recycled lobster traps, composted fiddleheads and expired Ganong chocolates.
well then,
Donald Trump your a joke, doesn’t know anything about are beautiful province of New Brunswick you buddie can go fuck yourself
OK…. You realize this is a JOKE site right? It is satire and written in fun to make light of a situation??? Please tell me you knew this as the article is so over the top that my 6 year old laughed at it! (That was sarcasm)
I agree with u Tyler …. but if trump wants to build a wall at the new Brunswick border and Maine ,,,, all the people of new Brunswick should all get together and sign a petition with law courts of new Brunswick that is stated that if Donald trump wants a wall at the new Brunswick border ,,, Donald trump should be paying for the entire wall as he likes to brag about how much money he as ,,, and also the rest of Canada will be supporting the idea that Trump should pay to have the walls build
Donald is an idiot!! I seriously think he needs his medication adjusted there’s no way he is sane!!
you put a wall on my province im going to fuck you up you shit bag
I was seriously offended when i read this .How dare he .i do not think he wants to mess with nb’ers .He will most certainly wished he did not .
I am American from Crawfordville Florida and all my family except for my dad is there. I moved to Saintjohn when I was 18 and canadians have been very good to me. I think you are being very unfair and judgemental another word is being prejidious not right. I have just as much right going across the border as any one else. Canadians are very good people and no different then us.
I’ll just leave this here for those who are freaking out in the comments section: “The Manatee is a satirical news site offering fictional, critical observations of popular culture and current events. It is intended to be humorous with a harsh dose of reality. Any interview subjects’ resemblance to a member of the public not in the public eye is purely coincidental and should not be taken seriously. Quotes and stories from real people in the public eye are fictional and intended for satire only.”
Don’t worry too much about it…. The liberal voters are showing their true colors and intellect…
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/City_slicker
City slicker is an idiomatic expression for someone accustomed to a city or urban lifestyle and unsuited to life in the country. The term was typically used as a term of derision by rural Americans who regarded them with amusement. It may refer to a “fop”, or it may be a derogatory term for a person wearing inappropriate city-type business attire, particularly with a brusque or condescending attitude in areas where local residents are offended by an arrogant attitude combined with disdain and lack of respect for rural people and lifestyles. The term can be used to describe people who are perceived as dishonest, arrogant, or simply naive.
City slicker was derisively given to people from the urban Eastern United States when they took on an attitude that their lifestyle and access to the culture of city life gave them superior intelligence. Rural people, particularly those in the west, notably cowboys, often used the perception of a snobbish attitude as justification for playing practical jokes on such people.
The archetypal city slicker is depicted as a spoiled selfish lazy rich person who considers people living on farms to be poor and ignorant. They are depicted as being unaccustomed to hard labour and as a result, tire very easily and complain when working. City slickers appeared often as deceitful characters in U.S. comic strips and movies before the middle of the 20th century, but usually to be “outsmarted” by the native wisdom and common sense of the locals or to somehow otherwise get their just deserts in the end.[1]
The term is still used in rural areas today. Related terms include dude, tenderfoot, and greenhorn. Antonyms include yokel, bumpkin and hick.
FYI Canada has 10 provinces and 3 territories. Please tell me on April 1st someone is going to tell me all this Drumpft/Trump stuff was a joke.
Yes, but only 7 provinces and 1 territory border the US, as the “article” states…
he is not right in the head, and who ever votes for him are just as messed up. Maybe they think he is the antichrist,so sad,pray for the people of the usa.
Hilarious,, this is the biggest bullshit website!!! were all laughing our asses off,, what a joke this website is!! The manatee.net lmfao
And he thinks he is classy. Money doesn’t make you classy. All I see is another arrogant ass hole
Mr. Trump does not even know where New Brunswick. what give s the right to judge people that you dont. not know.im living in new bruswick seven years now and also work here and im proud to call this province home .with this sed please if you dont have nothing nice to sey about the province of new bruswick better not say anything.
This is totally untrue. If you fell for this I have a bridge I’d like to sell you!!
Donald Trump is Jewish and he believes that new walls should be build between countries that help each other. … let them build the walls and besides canada makes even more money in the oil and gas than the US as their is only a few iol rigs in texas and their will be over 1000 iol rigs in yotal in Bc , Alberta and Saskatchewan and the US will go starving
Donald Trump is Jewish and he believes that new walls should be build between countries that help each other. … let them build the walls and besides canada makes even more money in the oil and gas than the US as their is only 15 to 20 oil rigs in texas and their will be over 1000 oil rigs in total in Bc , Alberta and Saskatchewan and the US will go starving
That wld protect the maritimes, what about the rest of Canada
what a dumb bastard
OH MY GOD!!! Do you people really think this is real??? NOT!!! now don’t get me wrong.. Trump is an idiot.. but this story reads like a joke right? come on now!! but very very funny.. I loved it from beginning to end .. very entertaining.. 🙂
Of course it’s a joke, ain’t no such thing as expired ganong chocolates. They are always eaten long before they expire!! ?
Thanks, Gladys Young ! I though for a couple of minutes there, that I “am” in Bazarro World ! LOL.
This is from Manatee,it’s
not true it’s a joke,don’t be so gullible
This is Manatee,and you’re told not to believe it,as it’s a joke
you do know that The Manatee is a satire site right…..??
I usually NEVER post anything regarding Politics, Women or anything offensive not to hurt anyone feelings,, but this guy,,WOW what a winner we have here, folks, I have to agree with Paula for sure on this one,,,Americans I know you are all smarter then to vote for this Idiot,,DUMP TRUMP,,,DUMP TRUMP, I heard on the radio yesterday,,luved it,lol,,,and before you go knocking someone else s back yard,Mr Trump, a you know you better clean up your own 1st pinhead. and you ain t building no wall between NB and Maine border you Nazi,,man this guy don t know the war is over let alone B President,,,,lol
maybe if we’re very very quiet he won’t come back …
If a border wall does go up along the US (presumably right down the center of the river) and meets the wall that Quebec wants to build to halt frackers from crossing, it may alter snowfall amounts by blocking weather patters. A Win-Win for everybody!
THIS IS ALL JUST A BULL CRAP ARTICLE GO LISTEN TO THE MAN YOURSELF THE PRESS IS BIOUS
There are only 7 ( not 8 ) provinces that border the U.S.- If trump becomes president Canada must build a wall to keep this crazy and his supporters out.
I’m from novas scotia and i agree with trump NB is a shit hole
well then go back to Nova Scotia, you ignorant prick
He is in NS.
Anything foreign is not good except women!
Now we have the proof that he is a mental case! If he get to be president, God help the USA
Holy fock bud you can stand infront of my ford cause im gonna run you over
Heck the rest of Canada wants a wall to protect us from the east coasters …
Come on Trump, you don’t drink Saint John tap water. Evereybody knows that.
It is Very Real! Yet we are but 1 hour from the US border, and they will be the most hated Country in the WORLD! Where do we escape too????
Trump! 2016!!! I’m from NB. Total socialist shit box.
Build the wall right across to keep the gun toting idiots south of us OUT! Take you second amendment and shove it up your New York #@& Trumpster!
This is a joke site..id say some of you voted for the fool we have running our country from this site…wake up get educated before you put out slander..your pathetic
Here is 4 litter of water that I have distilled in Saint-John New-Brunswick. I have called Health Canada and they told me that Saint-John have there own health centre for their water… http://postimg.org/gallery/1f4ovmmj4/
1 gallon of water disliled in Saint-John New-Brunswick… http://postimg.org/gallery/1f4ovmmj4/
divert our water from within canada,the us should pay for the water,and the hydro,just pay your share. stop stealing canadian water.and pay for your hydro.
New Brunswick is a failed state … Black market dry wallers and fat women in call centers. Not much else .., Trump will win and things will change. Love your fear of the Donald.
So ignorant he didn’t even here of New Brunswick until a cpl years ago and now he’s ripping on it??? Wow, smh …. Go to hell DRUMPF
The water in Saint-John still taste bad haha
I heard that Trump made a short detour to Nova Scotia where he heard that the Liberals killed the film tax credit, driving filmmakers to seek illegal migrant work in Hollywood. Afterwards, he proposed the building of a sea wall to keep out defecting film industry workers.
“My people told me that New Brunswick was sort of like ‘Mexico North,’ only some of them speak French instead of Español.
You didn’t close the quote.
The speaker is still speaking in the next paragraph, so no closing quote. Closing quotes go in the final paragraph for that speaker’s quote, so the reader always knows it’s the same person speaking. See http://english.stackexchange.com/questions/2288/how-should-i-use-quotation-marks-in-sections-of-multiline-dialogue
Oh my God, I can’t believe how stupid some people are in NB. I love NB but people … the Manatee is a satirical column. That means that the articles are NOT TRUTH they are supposed to be funny.
People! Read the DISCLAIMER at the bottom of the page. Please!
Uh………. I realize this is a satire site, but am wondering if it’s being run by Canadians. St. JOHN’S, NB??? St. John’s is in Newfoundland, not New Brunswick. js. 😉
LOL.. Im from Ontario and even I know that people on the East Coast are the nicest people in Canada.. Maybe the east coast people should consider buiilding wall to keep Trunmp out …LOL !!
-Maybe it was in the water, that because he is from the States the water woke him up to reality and he ran home thinking he must do something quite profound and, thus, decided to run for America’s Presidency.
-Who knew that NB water could have such an effect…! ? *You could have bottled it and sent it to someone else though: What is this guy doing running for the highest office in his land and perhaps the world: Just so he can carry the torch for his name brand or maybe his interest in promoting the family or simply because he…drank the ‘WAT-ter…? !’
[…] stephan said: […]
[…] […]
hello mr. trump you sourass redneck SOB!!!!! you are giving me the taste of never setting foot in the USA because of your continuous insults and your ridiculous plans of building walls across your borders,well why do’nt you lock yourself in one of you bank vaults and play menopoly by yourself and leave the world in peace you racist scumbag!!!!!! the world does not want you to messup the USA. ok DUMP TRUMP!!!!!!!!
Trump, keep judging provinces… But in the end, look at what your country has become… People wanna move to Canada… Cause of the redneck stupid worm in charge of the country, I assume you make this wall to not have illegal people… In the end who would wanna go in this “newly” brainless worm country hosted by such moron.
I’m from the lower middle of that nation south of the border … Oklahoma. I have been to five provinces and I love Canada. From Victoria to Cape Breton, I have marveled at the wonders of Canada.
But Holy Cow! What is wrong the water in New Brunswick. (My apologies to those I sprayed).
Regarding Trump, you have been treated to outright lies about Trump from the US mainstream media. It’s no wonder that Canadians have such views of Trump. I would react the same if I was exposed to only the US media’s version of events. For example, rather than being racist, Trump has been an anti-racism activist, and there is online a photo of him receiving a distinguished award from a major African-American group, and the photo included Muhammed Ali, former pro boxer, and Rosa Parks, the lady who started the anti-racism movement by refusing to move to the back of a bus. Trump is the one person who force integration in golf clubs in Florida. So, you think you know the man as a racist. No, he is the ultimate anti-racist. And the reverse is true for eveything else you think you know about Trump.
In the meantime, would you guys please do something about New Brunswick’s awful water.
(yes, I’m joking about the NB water, as I’m sure the article is satire on that)
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