New Brunswick — Do you have someone on your shopping list who already has everything, or an impossible-to-buy-for spouse, relative or friend? If so, the Government of New Brunswick wants to help you by helping themselves reduce the province’s enormous debt.
The Liberal government announced on its Facebook page Tuesday afternoon that they’re selling debt bonds that can be bought in various increments and individualized toward “that special someone.” The money spent on these bonds gets you a postcard featuring a picture of a New Brunswick landmark, as well as a personalized message from Premier Brian Gallant thanking the recipient for their generous donation.
The sincere thank-you reads as follows: “Dear ____________, Thanks so much for not wasting your money by donating to some pointless cause like World Vision or Unicef — you’d never even get to meet those kids. This way, you’re putting your money toward people you see all the time, famous people like me, Brian Gallant.”
The landmarks chosen for the postcards include: the Big Potato in Maguerville, the World’s Largest Axe in Nackawick, the Hartland Covered Bridge, random Tim Hortons coffee shops, and many more New Brunswick hotspots.
“We know that Christmas is a stressful time of year for shoppers,” expressed Bill Fraser, minister of Tourism, Heritage and Culture, “so we wanted to help people out by giving them a last-minute gift idea that will also help the province. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.”
Fraser explained that the bonds make “wonderful gifts” that can be purchased in any denomination and printed off on a home computer or sent as an e-card through email or Facebook. “I got one for my wife, my sister and each of my nephews and nieces,” Fraser bragged to The Manatee.
The Manatee sent a reporter to Frdericton’s Brookside Mall, where there aren’t a lot of options as far as Christmas shopping, to see whether this is something that would interest consumers.
“They already get taxes from everything I buy,” complained Shirley Gibson of Nashwaak Valley, “and now they want me to just give them money for a picture of a stupid wooden bridge? I can drive up to Hartland myself, snap a picture, print it off and tell my daughter that I’m paying taxes that are supporting the government on her behalf — I don’t need the Liberals to help me.”
Clair Morgan of Devon shared a similar perspective. “Those tards can just screw themselves as far as I’m concerned,” she said as she purchased a bottle of strawberry-kiwi Boone’s from NB Liquor.
Our reporter found one shopper at the mall’s Sobeys location who thought this was a great initiative by the Liberals. “What a great idea!” said an elated Deputy Premier Stephen Horsman, who happened to be buying his groceries while our reporter was on site. “I think everything the Liberals do is great — I just love the New Brunswick Liberal government!” he proudly proclaimed while asking when this story would be published.
The Liberals wouldn’t divulge the actual number of bonds sold, but did assure The Manatee that it was more than 4 and that they’ve yet to hear back from some “pretty interested parties.”