New Brunswick — Local woman Carrie Osbourne, 36, never fails to post riveting details of her home, outdoor or gym workouts for her dozens of spellbound followers on all social media channels.
“Did a run today (8.3 k), even though I woke up feeling kind of ‘blah’ this morning. I’m so glad I did! I feel so much better physically and mentally!” wrote Osbourne in an Instagram story, along with a slightly blurry photo of a crushed-rock covered trail that could be anywhere in the city.
“Holy crap, she did what?!?” cried Diana Killian, one of her eager followers, who was waiting with bated breath to see what her hero’s workout would be today. “Wow, makes me feel like a slob compared to her. But at the same time, it inspires me want to get out there and train for a half-marathon or something. Right after this episode of Teen Mom.”
“This shit’s like crack to me,” confirmed Osbourne’s Facebook friend Shawn Riley. “Any time I check my phone, I never know what it’ll be — did she climb a mountain in record time? Did she make a green smoothie as post-workout fuel? Did she make it to Aquacize despite not really feeling like it, and will she sooth her joints with a nice soak in the tub? Did she do a weight circuit at the gym to challenge a different muscle group? Did she power through a run on a chilly fall day and have the picture of her feet to prove it? I need to know!!!”
Osbourne’s follower Rachel Drost asserted that without the daily updates about her acquaintance’s health regimen, she’d be a shell of a person.
“I don’t know what I’d do, other than maybe work hard at my job, remodel my house, pay attention to my kids, learn another language, write a book — I’d rather live vicariously through Carrie’s posts. Keep ’em coming, girl!”
Osbourne explained that the daily updates are even more important than the workouts themselves.
“Sometimes if I’m pressed for time I’ll just make my Snapchat story a selfie with a motivational phrase about fuelling my body with a wholesome, nutritious meal before a yoga session,” she said, “or I’ll spice things up by sharing an article on Facebook about how Pilates helps with seasonal depression. I have to give my followers something to get them through another day.”
At press time, Osbourne was taking a photo of a bowl of cut-up pears and apples to share along with the caption, “Fruit for breakfast — back on track!”