Miramichi to change city's welcome sign to read 'Gone to Fort McMurray'

Miramichi — With the highest unemployment rate in the country at a staggering 22 percent, the City of Miramichi has made the inevitable decision to edit their welcome sign to accurately reflect the city’s unfortunate population and economic maladies. At a city council meeting, which was broadcast on channel 10 following Swap Shop on Tuesday night, the councillors made it abundantly clear the new sign will read “Gone to Fort McMurray: Giv’er you’re on the river.”

“We basically needed a way to answer our tourists’ most frequently asked question, which is ‘Where the heck is everybody?’ and we came to the conclusion that this was probably the best way to do it,” explained Brian McCormick of the Miramichi City Council late Wednesday.

Miramichi is a beautiful city, but it has undergone some unfortunate economic pitfalls in the past decade with the closures of several mills and plants, including UPM-Kymenne, formerly Repap Pulp and Paper, in 2006.  “The city is aging faster than the bad guy at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark!” shouted Paul Somers of Sunny Corner, who was available to talk to The Manatee’s news staff on his 1 week off from working in the Alberta oil sands. Somers, an apparent Indiana Jones fan, went on to tell us that previous to working out West, his last job was scrubbing the puck marks off the boards at the Miramichi Civic Centre rink and mowing the lawn behind the Lord Beaverbook Museum.

The city plans to implement these changes to the welcome sign before the end of the year. There is also speculation the old signs will be recycled and moulded into canoes to be used for Beaubear’s Island tours in summer 2015.

  1. Regardless of your reasoning behind such a spoof article, I’m sorry to say but your facts are wrong in your article. For the Campbellton – Miramichi economic region, the rate for September was 13 per cent. That’s down slightly from 13.3 per cent the month earlier. The City of Miramichi proper has an unemployment rate of 12.3 per cent for September of 2014…

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  2. I hate when my spoof news sites don’t get their numbers right.

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  3. At least some of them bring the money back, that’s a help…lol

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  4. I know that low employment was only one of many reason I left as soon as I graduated high school.I would be a monkey’s uncle if I sent money back just to have the government spend it so frivolously. The City of Miramichi is living in the past and is just trying to rework their economic framework from their “glory days”. City infrastructure is poorly planned to the point it is ridiculous and is falling apart. There is also a serious lack of recreational areas and the city is not pedestrian of bicycle friendly. They currently do not have a development plan for the region on the books and is following guidelines set up when the economy was booming. They have not adapted. When the provincial and municipal government come up with a viable strategy for residents to live happily and healthy in that region then the employment will spike because people will want to work and employers will find a valuable asset in the great people on the river.

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  5. So sad! My man had to go west for work! I miss him very much, but am proud of him for taking care of me and our infant son!!

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  6. Web sites like this should be outlawed and pulled down off the internet as all they do is try put unnecessary fear into people.

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  7. Good way to tell the people in your community and them in the face with a huge YOU SUCK!!
    Congrats!
    Now they’ll turn on you like sour milk, and I hope they do!
    BTW… The Timberwolves SUCK… So does their fans!

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  8. The fact is everyone from out west credit ratio is night and will be bankrupt in the next 6 years! The next time we say hey how are you and the first thing you say, oh not too bad just got back from out west , I’ll laughter in your face!!!!

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  9. i hate those personal attacks,ya i was born in poverty .and got sick of ,i moved out west to get away from it,aft.45 yrs i came back,but still poverty.what the hell is wrong???? i’m not happy about being here in nb ppl are grouchy!when i hear about coming from alberta.i think i’d give them a one way ticket back,nothing here) at least i have family there i went to my rez and was appalled to see the living conditions,so what does a person to do?? who needs their ass kicked??? when you mentioned alberta,ppl don’t what to hear about it and they get very strange.i think it’s poverty shame.well………..real eyes realize real LIES!!!!!

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  10. […] Gallant was very disappointed with the news of the city changing its welcome sign back in October,” the report read. “The Premier will not sit idly by watching our youth move out west […]

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  11. why all the hate people!! it’s satire, satire = joke, joke=not true . i thought the ability to laugh at ourselves was one of our best qualities as nb’ers. the facts may be false but the situation isn’t, like most of their articles. guess what folks, i moved to alberta, laugh at my face, send me on a one way ticket back…whatever, don’t matter to me. the fact of the matter is, there is nothing for me in nb and i make more in a month here then i made in a year at home and it is the land of oppurtunities. i was unhappy,miserable and had no future.don’t hate because some us think that’s not the life we want, it’s our choice, we didn’t like , we did something about it. if you are happy with the conditions at home , good for you it is beautiful country and poor economy keeps cost of living cheap. if the manitee satirical articles bother you that much and have to take it so personally maybe it’s not the article you find bothersome more so the situation , maybe you should do something to change the situation you dislike instead of hating others for their opinions . for those who don’t like the situation and don’t want to move away, perfectly acceptable. many seasonal trade jobs available here that pay really good money, will house and feed you for free, fly you in and out every 3 weeks or so, other jobs offer a weekly tax free living out allowance and pay travel, also tax free which is more the the cost of the actual flights. you could come work here 4 months, sit on poggy for the rest of the year and still make more then the average nb income. for the bankrupcy comment…all my monthly expenses equal to less then one week’s pay so,no need for credit. last time i checked, many i know that stayed in nb are now facing bankrupcy so what’s your point?

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