Sussex — One day per year pancakes are next to godliness, and the annual frying of flapjacks for the faithful is at full steam again today across the Maritimes.
Forty-seven days before Easter Sunday each year, congregations across the region hold pancake suppers to celebrate Shrove Tuesday. While the frying pans are heating up to prepare breakfast for supper, so is the competition between dinners according to churches in the region.
“You used to just put it in the Sunday bulletin, and the place would be packed,” lamented church elder Dorothy Crepe of St. Matthew’s Church in Sussex. “Now, we have to put it on Facebook, Twitter and the radio just to get enough people to make it worthwhile. Attracting diners is harder than ever before, and not everyone is playing fair.”
“Everyone has pancakes, sausages and hashbrowns, so that’s a given,” said church lady Patricia Eglise. “But, who has freshly baked gingerbread with real whipped cream? Only us! And, for a family rate of $25, it can’t be beat! In your face, St. Peter’s!”
Not deterred, St. Peter’s Anglican Assembly unleashed their nuclear option — free-will offering admission. “You know what it costs to get in here?” asked pankcake-flipper Margaret Mason. “Nothing! Bam! Take that, Patty-cake! And, we have chocolate cake with boiled icing for dessert and homemade macaroons! Checkmate!”
Early this afternoon, mudslinging between the flocks hit a new level. “You know Pam from St. Peter’s is a ‘taster,’ right?” confided Eglise. “And, she licks her fingers after every bite. I’m not saying she doesn’t wash her hands, but I’d keep an eye on that if I were you.”
At press time, parishioners from St. Peter’s were down the street from St. Matthews handing out flyers promoting their “pancakes cooked in a rodent-free kitchen unlike you-know-who.”