BREAKING: Clinton won, wrong envelopes opened

BREAKING: Clinton won, wrong envelopes opened

Washington D.C. — In a second stunning and monumental blunder to hit the accounting firm today, PricewaterhouseCoopers is admitting that the wrong winner of the United States presidential race was announced last November.

The accounting firm is now revealing that they handed the wrong envelopes to election officials in several key battleground states. “We actually mixed up the envelopes with those stating the presidential preference of married couples who are ‘mildly related,'” said company president, Stephen Harvey.

“Obviously hiding this has been weighing on us but after last night’s flub at the Oscars, the proverbial Band-Aid had been ripped off so to speak. We apologize profusely to Mr. Trump and the winner of the 2016 election — President Hillary Clinton.”

Clinton was reached at her home last night, answering the door wearing yoga pants and a tattered cardigan sweater and holding a pint of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream. She was told that she actually won 100 percent of electoral college votes, and the Secret Service was en route to escort her to the White House.

“YEEHAW! Bill is back, baby!” exclaimed an unidentified male voice inside the Clinton residence.

“In time, we will have a good laugh about this,” said Harvey sheepishly. “I mean, Trump as president? Come on, man!”

Trump reportedly has left Washington D.C. on vacation to a Russian resort escorted by several unidentified advisers. Before vacating the office, he was reportedly relieved.

“I think we can all admit that I was royally messing this up,” Trump said. “After a short vacation, I will be glad to get home to my family and my golden toilet and shower.”

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