New Brunswick — The collective disappointed sigh of an entire province was heard Sunday morning as emails were circulated to all members of the working class, informing them that work would resume as usual on Monday this year. It’s part of a last-minute plan by Brian Gallant’s new government to help boost the New Brunswick economy. This new ruling applies to all members of the public and private sector.
“We realized that if we make people work more, they will earn more and spend more, and our economy will thrive,” said Brian Gallant at a press conference in Fredericton.
Angry grumblings arose from the few reporters that had made plans on their rare day off, who quickly filed out to salvage what was left of their weekend.
Surprisingly, public reaction has largely been negative, with some people going as far as threatening to leave New Brunswick entirely.
“If my employers seriously do this I’m going to quit,” stated Brenda Hiltz, a receptionist at a spa in McAdam, N.B.
“Hell, I’m taking my kids and moving to Nova Scotia. I need my vacation; it’s the one time I don’t feel like wringing the necks of everyone I talk to,” she spat, her temple visibly throbbing.
During the press conference Gallant added that if all goes well, plans are in the works to shorten Christmas vacation and set a cap on the total number of vacation days allotted to employees.
“We’re done being known as the have-not province. We’re going to be seen as the hardest-working province in Canada,” said Gallant, proudly unveiling a new symbolic gold-plated whip to be mounted in the Legislature.
The public is encouraged to double-check with their employers to confirm that they will indeed be participating in the new initiative.