Tracy — The cougar that was spotted at the iRock in Fredericton back in 2014 has been seen again, this time wandering the Tracy area in a futile search for something — anything — to do.
Fredericton construction worker Mike Ferguson, 24, said the cougar approached him outside the old iRock early Wednesday morning, looking at him with hunger in her feline eyes. “Jesus, it scared the living daylights out of me,” recalled Ferguson. “I guess she didn’t realize the iRock hasn’t been a nightclub for a long time now. I screamed at her to get outta here and she just growled and tried to bat her big paws at my face, then took off running toward Tracy. Scary stuff.”
The cougar, who is known for her drunken belligerence and her lustrous fur coat, reportedly tried to find some young men in Tracy to hang out with after Ferguson rejected her, but was disappointed to discover that the area is populated mostly by boring old farts.
“I seen that cougar on the prowl in my backyard just last night,” said resident Lorna McArthur, 68, “and she looked like she was up to no good, that’s for sure. She kept coughing and howling and making a god-awful racket. I’d keep an eye out for her. I’m gonna lock up my husband and son until the coast is clear.”
“Oh yeah, I caught a glimpse of her traipsing right into my driveway,” confirmed another Tracy native, 59-year-old Mac Thompson. “She sure was pretty — not sure what she’s doin’ around these parts. She got a glimpse of my ugly mug and turned on her heels. Too good-looking for the likes of me, it seems.”
The provincial Department of Energy and Resource Development is warning the people of Tracy against approaching the cougar, offering her any alcohol, or being seduced by her subdued 40-something appeal.
“She’ll leave when she realizes there is absolutely nothing of interest going on here,” said spokesperson Mark Albright. “We just have to ignore her and she’ll go away.”