Shediac — This afternoon the premier of New Brunswick unearthed a time capsule he buried as part of a class project when he was an impressionable middle school student just 13 years of age.
Brian Gallant’s Grade 8 class at Shediac Cape School assembled their capsules back in 1995. Each student diligently added favourite trinkets, collectibles and notes to their future selves to be placed in the earth and for some reason dug up when they reached their mid-30s.
Gallant — who was going through puberty at the time but was already cognizant of his own impending hotness — stuffed an eclectic assortment of items into his time capsule: a McDonald’s G.I. Joe, some Pogs, his best Edwin jeans, a bottle of Dippity-do hair gel, a pelican Beanie Baby, a picture of his 12-year-old girlfriend Kelly Mason, a New Brunswick flag, a couple of tattered nudie magazines and an open letter to the future premier of the province.
“When I wrote that letter to the future premier, I had no idea it would be me,” lied Gallant. “It’s appropriate, though — the school’s guidance counsellor always told me I wasn’t fit for anything but politics. He must have foreseen my greatness.”
Gallant was eager to share the contents of the open letter with a Manatee reporter.
“Dear future premier of New Brunswick,” wrote the adolescent Gallant. “What’s up? I’m writing because our teacher said we had to, but also because I want to know what you’re like — are you smart? Funny? Do you get a lot of free stuff for being premier? Do girls like you? How did you make the people of New Brunswick vote for you? Any tips on getting into politics? I think I want to do that but my mom says I should just be a lawyer instead. What do you think?
“Well that’s it I guess, but I just want to let you know that you’re doing a great job. Keep smiling! Yours, Bri.”
The 34-year-old Gallant plans to bury another time capsule filled with mementos from his time in office, and unearth it later in life.
“I’ll excavate it when I’m, like, 60 or 70, and give it to my kids or even grandkids. New Brunswick will probably be a utopia by then, so I’m sure they’ll want to thank me.”
As our reporter was wrapping up the interview, Gallant was already jotting down a note to 70-year-old Brian, that began: “Dude. You’re welcome.”