Trump says Canada’s Wi-Fi is ‘slow’ and ‘catastrophic’

Trump says Canada’s Wi-Fi is ‘slow’ and ‘catastrophic’

Greensboro, N.C.– As the U.S. presidential election enters the home stretch, Republican nominee Donald Trump is making more sensational claims about Canada, but this time healthcare is not in the spotlight.

Trump’s latest charge is that Canadian Wi-Fi is of such low quality that Canadians are crossing the border to the United States to download large files.

These comments follow his now-infamous remarks from the second presidential debate when he claimed Canadians need a “big operation… they come into the United States” for healthcare.

“You walk around any Canadian city and your Wi-Fi is just terrible — it’s a total disaster,” claimed Trump on Friday. “Dead zones, low bandwidth everywhere. The quality of their antennas is just horrible. If I wanted to send a tweet about a sex tape at 3 a.m., I might as well use AOL! Right?

“In a lot of places in Canada, it’s like worse than dial-up,” continued Trump. “When Canadians want to download a movie from iTunes or stream Orange is the New Black on Netflix, they all come to the United States.

“No, we don’t want to be like Canada. Canada’s Wi-Fi signal is a catastrophic mess. One hell of a big dead zone, believe me.”

While it’s unclear if Trump means overall Canadian Internet speeds in general, municipally sponsored public Wi-Fi services, or the Internet speed of mobile carriers, there is no data to support this unfounded claim. Canadian Internet speeds are generally on par with those in the United States, and the commercially available Wi-Fi technology is identical.

When asked to explain his sensational claim, Trump didn’t hesitate. “Canadians naturally emit microwaves to survive their extreme Arctic cold,” he explained. “That’s what I’m hearing anyways. People are saying it… I don’t know, I don’t know… people are saying it.

“Where there’s smoke, there’s fire folks… I’m just saying.”

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