Halifax — Loblaw recently announced plans to add 100% cricket powder — which is pretty much what it sounds like — to its ever-expanding grocery line.
The high-protein powder is more sustainable than other animal protein sources, according to the company, and it can be a healthy, even tasty ingredient in cooking and baking. People around the world have been consuming insects for ages, and President’s Choice wants to bring Canada up to speed.
One Halifax man, however, says the bug-eating trend is not one he’ll be taking part in.
“I’ll get my protein from the butts, lips, and feet of pigs, thank you very much,” said Randy MacIntyre, 48, who had a bag of cheesies and six hotdogs for lunch today, washing them down with a large Pepsi. “Why would you want to punish your body with something so disgusting and gross? Can’t you find anything better to eat?”
MacIntyre said he doesn’t care if it kills the planet — you’ll never catch him swearing off red meats. “You’ll also never catch me at the gym,” he spat. “I’ve seen people comin’ out of there and they’re positively covered in sweat. No thanks.”
The crickets for the powder are being farmed in Ontario, a fact that Loblaw has made clear in its advertising.
“At least with my hotdogs, I know where they come from,” boasted MacIntyre. “I get six for a coupla bucks down at the Esso. But who knows where these bugs have been?!”
MacIntyre’s friends claim he’s got the worst lifestyle of anyone in their circle.
“He smokes a pack a day and thinks vegetables are ‘dirty’ because they’re grown in the earth,” said Rob Peters, who went to high school with MacIntyre and meets up with him for the occasional poker night.
“After his wife left him, he started eating Hungry Man dinners every evening and downing a six-pack of Bud in front of the TV before bed. I’ve been to his house and the trash is overflowing and his toilet hasn’t been cleaned this decade. I strongly suspect he might not even know how to do laundry.
“I don’t think he’s one to talk about what’s disgusting.”