Irvings to privatize NB tourism industry

New Brunswick — The drive-through province’s richest family will now own the provincial tourism department  in addition to its transportation services, news printing, forest products, shipbuilding, retail stores and French fry industry.

“New Brunswick is already synonymous with Irving culture,” said Bill Fraser, new minister of Tourism, Heritage and Culture. “So we figured we may as well make it official.”

This announcement will come with several big changes. For instance, a new licence plate slogan “Be… in Irving Land” will be added to all new motor vehicles. In addition to the new cabinet calendar, a special-edition tourism calendar with new Premier Brian Gallant posing while thoughtfully gazing off into the distance in various Irving factories will be launched January 2015.

Most New Brunswickers could not be reached for comment because they were in Alberta looking for work, but The Manatee found a homeless man living in Irving Nature Park in Saint John. “I’m so excited about this,” said Kent Cavendish. “I’ve always felt like I’m living in Irving-land, and this announcement gives me something to brag about to my cousins in Halifax.”

All 14 English weekly newspapers and 7 French newspapers in New Brunswick have publicly endorsed this announcement with great excitement.






  1. This would be a wonderful improvement ,to what we are used to .lol.Proud to be in Irving land!Go IRVINGS!!!!

  2. I still believe that, instead of nationalizing Irving businesses like communists would propose, we should give governmet to the Irvings. They already control it, so why not. The catch, though, is that all New Brunswikers would become shareholders of the Irving empire. They might not like that.

  3. If anyone actually thinks that this is a good idea …than you are nuts!!!!!

  4. Every fifty years somebody come up with a great idea and this is brillent. Irvings will go a wonderful job with no cost to the tax payers as all positions will be fill with the boat peoples who will need jobs and will work for low wages in our mind but will be big money to them. It will save Justin a lot of money in the long run.


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