Kris Austin declaring state of emergency in order to build wall on Quebec border

Kris Austin declaring state of emergency in order to build wall on Quebec border

New Brunswick — PANB Leader Kris Austin is planning to declare a state of emergency in the province in order to activate special powers that may allow him to build a wall on the New Brunswick/Quebec border, effectively “guarding our citizens and our jobs from the evil and perils of French-speaking people.”

“We must stop waiting for the change and start being the change!” cheered Austin at a rally in his hometown of Minto on Friday morning. “We must protect our jobs, ourselves and our children from an unsecured border. If the house won’t support a bill that will grant access to the required money, then I will have no choice but to declare a state of emergency and use the special funds to build a wall myself.”

Jobs aren’t the only reason Austin finds it imperative to build a wall.

“Our obesity rates are off the charts and I’m holding Quebec partially — no, mostly accountable for this. What with their poutines and their maple syrup and so on. They’re fattening our people so their people can take our ambulance jobs and then save us from the heart attacks that we’re having because we’re eating their fat-filled foods.”

Austin told The Manatee that he’s piggybacking on U.S. President Donald Trump’s state of emergency threat that he saw on the news last week.

“I see a lot of myself in this guy actually,” he continued. “He has these ideas that a lot of people think are bad, but he doesn’t care and finds ways to pursue those ideas anyway — it’s just common sense.”

The PANB leader suggested a stone wall be built around the border of the province that would prevent Quebecers from illegally entering the province in search of what Austin calls “those sweet, sweet New Brunswick jobs.”

Our reporter spoke with a Fredericton legal expert on whether Austin can realistically pursue his wall dreams.

“I think what Austin doesn’t realize is that he has little to no power,” said lawyer Joanne Vey. “There are no ‘secret funds’ available to him, and nothing leads me to believe that he has any authority to call a state of emergency, either.”

Austin was probed on why he’s so opposed to French people and their culture, but he denied that he has anything against the francophone population.

“Look, I have absolutely no problem with the people or the language,” he said. “It’s when you put the two together that the problem arises. I’ve got no issues with English-speaking Frenchies or French-speaking English people — again, this is all just common sense.”



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