More New Brunswick seniors falling, breaking hips

New Brunswick — Ninety-three-year-old Sussex resident Deborah Fields misses her afternoon walks, having recently been knocked over by a distracted teen who was texting as he walked by her. “Doctors say it could be months before I recover. I’m not sure, once the hip goes…”  she lamented.

Dr. Augus Patel agreed, stating: “Once the hip goes, that’s pretty much it. Unless you can get a hip replacement, that is. In fact, replacements are way up this year!”

seniiorsProvincewide there has been a flurry of incidents involving seniors falling over and, more often than not, breaking their hips — and not just as a result of ambivalent texters. Abagail Rogers was knocked over in Florenceville when walking by some distracted canteen-goers who were enjoying some McCain Superfries, Barbara Jones went down sliding on some Big Texas barbecue sauce last weekend at Freddy Beach Ribfest, and Bruce MacDonald shattered both femurs after being knocked down by the world’s highest tides while sightseeing at the Hopewell Rocks.

Sadly, not all of these fractures appear accidental. RCMP are now actively investigating Instagram user @NBHipBreaker after finding dozens of beautifully filtered shots of New Brunswick seniors splayed out on sidewalks across the province. Statistics Atlantic research indicates New Brunswick has seen a 15-percent spike in “seniors falling and breaking hips,” a closely watched metric in determining hospital waiting lists and MRI unit purchases.

Share your thoughts. We reserve the right to remove comments.