Fredericton — Public Health in New Brunswick, Canada, announced during Thursday’s live update that those at low risk of serious illness may not get their second dose of the COVID-19 vaccine until 90 days after their initial injection.
Rather than gripe about the wait, one low-risk New Brunswicker decided to reach out to TLC, popular purveyor of quality programming including My Strange Addiction, 1000-lb Sisters, 19 Kids and Counting, Dr. Pimple Popper, I Didn’t know I Was Pregnant, and, of course, the hit series 90 Day Fiancé and its many spinoffs.
“My favourite show is 90 Day Fiancé, so when I heard the phrase ‘90 days’ in the news, that immediately sparked an idea,” said Shara Olsen, a low-risk Fredericton resident. “I called up TLC, and to my surprise, actually got through — they must not be very busy these days, what with COVID.
“Anyway, I told the producers that we have our own ‘90 day’ situation here in New Brunswick, but instead of the K-1 visa it’s the COVID-19 vaccine. Once I finally managed to explain where New Brunswick is, they asked if I would agree to let them follow me and my family around for the 90-day period. My husband is immunocompromised so he won’t have to wait, which, let’s be honest, will cause tons of juicy drama between us. TLC viewers eat that up!”
The province is planning to welcome TLC with open arms…figuratively speaking.
“Most flights have been cancelled, for safety reasons,” said Premier Blaine Higgs. “We do not want to encourage travel, especially between the United States and here. But,” he continued, somewhat sheepishly, “my wife loves that 90 Day show. I’m not going to deny her a chance to meet the people who make it happen, or let our province miss out on the possibility of gaining some of that TLC-level fame!”
The premier said that of the entire 90 Day franchise, his personal favourite spinoff is Pillow Talk, in which past cast members react to recent episodes.
“Unpopular opinion, I know,” he said, raising his hands defensively, “but I can’t get enough of those twins Darcey and Stacey ripping into everything that went down with Larissa and Colt or Jenny and Sumit. It’s golden. And, obviously, I live for the tell-alls hosted by Shaun Robinson. Oh my god, imagine if she comes here!?!”
While many residents of the Picture Province are upset about the potential wait time, most see the value of having a large, well-known production company set up shop.
“At first I was really mad that it could be three months between shots, sure,” said Charlie Wilson of Saint John. “But I have always wanted to be on TV. I think I speak for most New Brunswickers when I say I’d actually rather be on TLC than get my vaccination at all. Ever.”
The full premise of 90 Day Vaccine has yet to be finalized, but as with most TLC programs, that can be sorted out after filming is complete.
“We just shoot hundreds of hours of footage and worry about making it into a story later,” said Matt Sharp, of Sharp Entertainment. “All we need is a hook, and if this is part of the 90 Day franchise, it’ll explode.”