Washington — American President Donald Trump has unveiled a new plan for the much-debated wall along the United States-Mexico border after seeing the devastating effects of the blizzard that slammed New Brunswick and other parts of Atlantic Canada Sunday through Monday.
“I think these Canadians may be a little smarter than we had previously thought,” explained the president in an early morning press conference. “I say we do what New Brunswick did and make our own wall from snow. It seems pretty obvious to me that New Brunswick was just trying to find a way to keep Mexicans out, and I think they’ve probably succeeded.”
President Trump allegedly had his curiosity piqued when he noticed #snowwallNB trending on Twitter.
“There I was, just minding my own business and telling off stupid celebrities on Twitter when the plan came to me,” recalled Trump.
We asked the president if he intends to import snow from New Brunswick or elsewhere in Canada to create this wall.
“No, we won’t be importing any snow,” he elaborated. “We’re going to make our own snow, and I’m telling you it will be the best snow that you’ve ever seen in your entire life. This snow will make Canada’s snow look like crap. It will be significantly better than any snow from China, too. So, we’re going to make our own snow and then sell that snow to Mexico for a fair price and they will make the snow wall and they will never be able to penetrate it, ever.”
When questioned on the logistics of having a snow wall along the border of a country boasting an average temperature of between 20 and 24 degrees Celsius, President Trump quickly reminded reporters that this wouldn’t be just “any old snow.”
“This will be 100 percent U.S.A snow — the greatest snow ever made,” he continued. “You’re thinking of cheap, poorly made Canada snow. Our snow will be the best. I’m telling you: it won’t flake, it won’t melt and it will withstand anything that Mexico can throw at it.”