Weekend ‘not long enough,’ jokes hilarious Moncton man

Weekend ‘not long enough,’ jokes hilarious Moncton man

Moncton — One man in Moncton is using his comedic creativity to make what most people consider the worst day of the week into one filled with hilarity.

Jeffrey Kirstead, a 39-year-old insurance salesman, has been entertaining his co-workers and clients each and every Monday for the past 16 years with a joke that he says “gets a ton of little chuckles” and “never gets old.”

“The joke never fails,” said a gleaming Kirstead. “Everyone always falls for it and they set me right up. Usually it’ll happen a few times every Monday; someone will ask, ‘How was your weekend, Jeff?’ and that’s when I zing ’em with the old faithful: ‘Not long enough.'”

Kirstead, who is the longest tenured employee at his branch, said he’s not sure how he came up with such a gem of a line, but sometimes he’ll use it after a 3- or even 4-day weekend.

“That’s when it really gets them — when it’s actually been a long weekend,” he explained. “But I like to joke that a weekend is never long enough, no matter how many days off I’ve had. I’ll use the same line if someone asks me how my vacation was or even how my coffee break was — I guess I’m just naturally clever.”

Co-workers of the self-proclaimed “insurance salesman-slash-comedian” say they’ve caught onto Kirstead’s routine quip but can’t find a way around setting him up for it.

“He’s always the first one there every Monday morning, just waiting by the doorway,” revealed Shirley Nelson, who’s worked with Kirstead for six years. “He’ll just stand there, drinking his coffee and then he’ll ask how my weekend was. I know he doesn’t really care, he just wants me to ask him how his was — he literally won’t leave until I do. And then he gives his stupid remark and I pretend to laugh and then I guess he feels satisfied and goes to his office.”

Blake Hardaway, another co-worker, told us that he once even tried using Kirstead’s own line on him, but the result was less than positive.

“He always says the same thing, so I thought I’d try it on him once,” recalled Hardaway. “And he gave me the coldest stare I’ve ever gotten in my life. I honestly thought he was going to try and poison me or something.”

Kirstead is glad to be finally getting the recognition his joke deserves, and expects to be receiving interview requests when word gets out about his comedic genius. He added that he’ll probably even be contacted about doing the late night talk show circuit, too. At press time though, no talk show hosts — not even Seth Myers — had called to book the hopeful Kirstead.

Share your thoughts. We reserve the right to remove comments.