Wind to politicians: ‘Fuck your signs’

Wind to politicians: ‘Fuck your signs’

The Maritimes — After an autumn weather bomb detonated in Atlantic Canada on Thursday, there was one very visible victim of the blast.

Election signs for the 2019 federal candidates were almost completely obliterated by the 90 km/h gusts barrelling through the region — only days before voters go to the polls in the too-close-to-call race.

“It’s like all of the indifference and frustration of voters came to life and just said, ‘Fuck you politicians! And, fuck your signs too!'” marvelled undecided voter Karen Indezcy, slapping her palms. “I just love it! Up yours, you windbags!” she laughed.

On Thursday, the season’s first “weather bomb,” — a rapidly developing storm that drops 24+ millibars of central pressure in 24 hours — swept through the Maritimes with very strong wind gusts and 30-50 mm of rain.

Usually, the gusts from these storms are responsible for tipping over some trees and garbage cans. But, since this storm materialized during the federal election campaign, thousands of expensive election signs were toppled over or destroyed.

“It’s their own fault for putting up all of those signs. Why are there so many anyways?” asked Indezcy. “Do they think we all have short-term memory loss, and we need a sign every three feet or we’ll forget who’s running? It’s not like we’re going to vote for the last name we see!

“Look at those eyesores now though — just piles of kindling and cardboard! Serves you right!” she giggled.

“Don’t bother putting them back up,” she advised. “We’re good. Really. Seriously.”


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