Fredericton — Sandra Smith of Nashwaaksis has spent the last nine days barricaded in her bungalow with her boyfriend and her cat. On Tuesday, Smith’s partner Eric Allan suggested at 8:45 p.m. that they watch a movie to “take their minds off things.”
“No…just no. I don’t have the mental fortitude to withstand a movie at the moment. It’s too much, Eric, c’mon,” Smith declared, shifting uncomfortably on the couch.
“Movies are just too long these days,” she told us, while scrolling Facebook on her phone for the 475th time that day. “This ain’t Lord of the goddamn Rings — calm down with these 200-minute running times, right? That said I will happily sit and watch a quick 42 episodes of Scrubs, when the mood strikes.
“To be honest, during this whole COVID-19 pandemic I don’t want something that’ll elicit some emotional reaction. I want to feel nothing for as long as possible. So put on Friends or The Office or 30 Rock or something. I just can’t get into Joker right now, okay? If you put it on I’m going to bed. I’m not kidding.”
At press time Smith had made good on her threat by going to the bedroom, propping her phone up on the nightstand with the Netflix app continuously playing Arrested Development, while Allan started watching Contagion in the living room.