Fredericton southsiders enjoy foggy morning that masks ‘disgusting’ north side

Fredericton southsiders enjoy foggy morning that masks ‘disgusting’ north side

Fredericton — From Forest Hill to Hanwell, residents of Fredericton’s south side were thrilled to wake up this morning to see a thick blanket of fog covering the “other side” of the city.

“What an amazing way to wake up!” cheered David Hay of Priestman Street, the highest point of the city. “Normally I turn around and face my house when I have my morning smoke because I can’t stand looking at that disgusting, crime-riddled, disease-infested north side. But today, all I could see was fog. It looked like a massive forest fire was burning or something — it was beautiful.”

Hay told The Manatee that his excitement got the better of him and he couldn’t help but wake his wife up to share in the beautiful view.

“At first I thought it must be another tire fire over there,” admitted Hay. “But then I realized that the smoke wasn’t dark enough for tires, and I was able to sit back and just enjoy the view for once. My wife was a little ticked off when I woke her up, but she came around once she gazed at the wide wonder that was before us — it’s the closest we’ve felt to one another in years.”

People all over the south side were out enjoying the morning before the fog eventually burned off.

“It’s so nice to feel safe enough to come outside,” expressed Julia Jones, a downtown resident. “I’m normally kind of scared when I look across the river and see how close those people are to us…I hope it’s foggy like this every day so I can try to forget they even exist.”

Our reporter bravely ventured to Marysville to gauge the northside community’s feelings about the morning fog.

“Those southsiders are nothing but rich snobs,” claimed Peter Doiron. “They always talk about how we’re the worst, but all the recent break-ins and robberies seem to have happened over on their side. I hope this fog lasts, too — all they’ve got over there is old, run-down buildings and hospitals! We’ve got lotsa trees and great people over here.”

Doiron suggested that maybe the fog isn’t enough and the city should look at creating a more permanent separation between the two sides of the city.

“I say we get Trump here once he’s impeached. Let’s get the Mexicans to build us a wall, too.”

  1. Well David Hay of Priestman St, we here on the North side also enjoyed the fog as well, we couldn’t see the arrogant,self centered assholes on the South side..I agree with Huffington build that wall and keep the snotty ignorant judgemental southsiders away from here…and David I too truly hope you never have to look at the NORTH side again its creepy knowing some ass is judging you from his backyard while smoking god knows what in his back yard…

  2. Born and raised on the north side and not one bit ashamed on the Northside are the realist people who would likely help you if you needed help on the woukd wait along time before someone would even ask if yer ok on the Northside people look out for one another when. Someone with nothing offered me a sandwich I new right then if I stay in new Brunswick I will only live on the Northside… NSB…… Lil mark

    • It’s the Manatee folks…’s a satirical article based on the long standing rivalry between North and South….chill!

  3. This is horrible! Shame on the family who is willing to judge a neighbourhood and shame on the ones who actually posted this! It is rude and cruel! You don’t actually know what a bad neighbourhood means! Travel more and check the big cities and learn to be a compassionate person!


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