Listicle: Top 11 reasons New Brunswickers haven’t been vaccinated

Listicle: Top 11 reasons New Brunswickers haven’t been vaccinated

Fredericton — As the province gets ready to go to the “green” alert level on July 30, many are beginning to wonder about the remaining fifth of the province who have yet to receive any COVID-19 vaccination.

In the past four weeks, the number of people finally getting their first dose has climbed by only a few percentage points. As of yesterday, only 81.5 per cent of New Brunswickers have received at least one dose of any COVID-19 vaccine.

This week, The Manatee launched an investigation into the sources of vaccine hesitancy in New Brunswick. Here are the top 11 reasons that New Brunswickers are avoiding COVID-19 vaccination.

  1. Waiting to see if the government will give an incentive like a free two-four of Alpine, or some other equivalent paint stripper.
  2. Phobia of needles ever since being robbed at gunpoint by a hypodermic needle in 1983.
  3. Hoping for a “Roll Up The Rim” version to be released.
  4. Does not want government tracking chip injected, might interfere with smartphone reception which allows GPS tracking to a precision of 10 square metres.
  5. Two words: empty calories.
  6. Can’t prove it, but pretty sure this is all the Official Languages Commissioner’s idea.
  7. Had Medicare card confiscated while trying to use it to pay at the liquor store. Apparently, “This one’s on Dorothy!” isn’t funny.
  8. Not sure how, but fairly certain it will cause NB Power to lose millions of dollars. Obviously it doesn’t take much.
  9. Does not live in a 5G coverage area.
  10. Do you want to make your mother cry? Do you? Well, look…there you go, you did it. Happy now?
  11. Active resistance to anything that crazy leftist socialist pinko Blaine Higgs is advocating.

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