Miramichi — A local man is starting his third contiguous week of sick days after receiving a COVID-19 vaccine, but claims he is not taking advantage of leeway being granted due to the pandemic.
Office worker Trevor Seringue emerged briefly today for the first time in over two weeks to discuss his adverse vaccine reaction with reporters.
He insists that even though he is too ill from side effects to work, he is not “milking” the whole vaccination experience as much as possible to his own benefit.
“I feel terrible,” Seringue moaned, standing outside of his apartment door in an impromptu media scrum. “My head is throbbing, my vision is blurry, I haven’t been able to move my arm in days, I have a really high fever and I am sweating through my clothes.
“I mean, I always have sweat through my clothes, but it’s a little worse now…well, maybe the same, I can’t really say for sure I guess.
“Anyways, I really want to go back to work as soon as possible!” Seringue emphatically stated. “I feel so bad about leaving my co-workers in the lurch, but what can I do? The government made me do this, so I guess I’ll just have to suffer through it.”
When asked to explain how his reaction to the COVID-19 vaccine is somehow worse than some cases of COVID itself, Seringue was at a loss.
“I mean, I know I’m working from home right now and I could literally do my job in my pajamas. But, I haven’t been able to get out of bed! I’ve barely been able to binge-watch Manifest, Loki, Love Island, Too Hot to Handle, Sophie: A Murder In West Cork, Black Summer, WandaVision, The Mandalorian, The Bad Batch, all three seasons of Yellowstone…umm, what else…Mare of Eastown, Hell’s Kitchen, Coronation Street, the playoffs…not to mention all of the Fortnite and Call of Duty I’ve been playing. It’s been a real struggle.”
Seringue is uncertain about any firm plans to return to work in the immediate future. “This week is a write-off for sure, maybe next week.
“But, then I have to go for my second dose…and the Olympics start on July 23. I’m going to have to play it by ear.”