Ottawa — On Tuesday Sean Spicer, the White House press secretary, flubbed the Canadian prime minister’s name, calling him “Joe” instead of Justin Trudeau. Trudeau, never one to harbour ill will over an honest mistake, revealed this morning that he’s in the process of officially changing his name to Joe.
“Poor Mr. Spicer seemed so embarrassed when he realized what he’d said, I just felt so bad for him,” said Trudeau. “People were laughing and the media was all over it. I figured I’d quietly change my name to Joe so that Steve — I mean… Sean? — can get back to work on whatever it is he does.
“I wasn’t that attached to the name Justin anyway,” he went on. “It’s got too many negative associations: you’ve got Justin Bieber, Justin Timberlake, Justin Long… no one you can really respect. But a name like Joe is solid. It’s a name you can set your watch to. There’s Joe Montana, Joe Pesci, Joe Louis, Joe DiMaggio, Joe Strummer, Joe Cocker, Joe Fresh and now me: Joe Trudeau.”
Our reporter asked Trudeau what effect he thinks a name change can really have upon Canada-U.S. relations, and whether he plans to accommodate all future blunders coming out of the White House.
“In changing my name, I come off as the good guy, and that’s what Canada’s all about, right? Why should I demand an apology when, as a Canadian, I can step up to the plate and say ‘No, I’M sorry, my name IS Joe.’ It just smooths things over.
“As far as Trump’s various omissions and oversights, I’ll probably let those slide too. I feel like I need to make up for the way I shook his hand — or more like didn’t shake it. His hands are just so small and clammy, though… anyway, it’s no problem for Joe.”