Dickhead briefly considers not parking in bike lane

Dickhead briefly considers not parking in bike lane

Marysville — Bike lanes are few and far between in the City of Stately Elms, but that doesn’t stop motorists from using them as overflow parking in non-emergency situations.

SUV driver Simon Johnson of Fredericton regularly parks in these lanes, earning him the “dickhead” moniker by local cyclists aiming to commute or get exercise.

Yesterday, however, Johnson claims he almost had a change of heart.

“I was going to my buddy’s on Crockett Street just to hang out and watch TV,” he told us, sitting at The Landing enjoying a coffee as his vehicle somehow blocked every bike rack. “I usually just pull over by the side of his house and get out, leaving the car idling — you know, ’cause I like it to be nice and air-conditioned as soon as I get back in.

“Yesterday for about 10 seconds I thought about parking right in his driveway,” he explained. “But then I remembered that I’d have to back out into the street later. Screw that, right?! Waste of time.”

A cyclist recently approached Johnson’s SUV and left a harshly worded note under the windshield wiper. The note read, “This is a bike lane, asshole. Park somewhere else!”

“It was me, I left the note,” admitted Cole MacNeil in an email to The Manatee. “I bike to work and use that street. I had to swerve into traffic to avoid this dickhead’s car that’s always around. Next time it’ll be a rock through his windshield, I swear.”

We informed Johnson of MacNeil’s threat.

“Typical — cyclists think everything belongs to them. It’s pretty normal for SUV drivers to be persecuted, unfortunately. I’m going to be the better man and ignore it.”

With that he threw his paper coffee cop with plastic lid on the ground, and walked back toward his SUV, which was still idling.

Share your thoughts. We reserve the right to remove comments.