Moncton — Wow, this is what we call a slam-dunk for gender parity in the workplace! The 51-year-old CEO of Market Solutions in Moncton makes it his mission to hire exclusively good-looking women no older than 25.
“I hire all kinds of women. Blonde, brunette, thin, athletic, young, really young — they all have a chance!” bragged Tim Dresden, self-proclaimed male feminist. “Most workplaces — let’s be honest — are boys’ clubs. It’s old white guys calling the shots. But I make it my personal mission to ensure all kinds of pretty young things can come to work under me. I mean…with me.
“Our hiring process is pretty rigorous,” he continued, sitting on his desk and mansplaining basic HR processes to our reporter. “We interview a broad range of men and women, but of course, the last thing I want is more old dudes in the office. It’s too much of a sausage party around here as it is,” he said, gesturing toward the two men in nearby cubicles. “And because of…whatdya call it…the glass ceiling and all that.”
Local woman Jenny Oliver, 22, recently got hired despite having no relevant experience or education.
“I needed a job,” she admitted, “so, and I know this is beneath me, but I just laughed at all the interviewer’s stupid jokes. Men love that shit. I also pretended not to know about some pretty simple concepts just so he could explain them to me. You could almost see him mentally disqualifying all the older guys who’d applied who have years of experience in this field.
“With the employment market the way it is, you have to play to your advantages.”
Dresden said he thinks it’s crucial that women get a chance to participate in all kinds of traditionally male-dominated professions. “It’s not about what they want to do with their careers — it’s more about what they should do to push the envelope for all career-minded ladies.
“But once they’re over 25 or gain a few pounds, they’re on their own.”